Note that Tim's words are white and Josh's words are blue:
"Alright broad comedies, I thought we had an unspoken agreement. I would forgive any weaknesses you may have in premise, plot, and character as long as you promise to show me something funny. Once again you have broken my heart." Is what I would say to this weeks new release Grown-ups if it were a sentient being, and able to understand how bad it was. The movie begins with a group of men who are drawn together again after years of separation by the death of their elementary school basket-ball coach (seriously, not a joke in the movie, just the premise). After the funeral all of their families must spend the fourth of July weekend together for several poorly strung together reasons, and hilarity(?) ensues.
I agree with Tim here, for the most part, but I would argue that the film wasn't bad, it was FUCKING TERRIBLE. Bad enough that if it didn't provide us the hate fuel we needed to write this review, I would have demanded my money back.I think it's safe to assume that many of us are willing to sacrifice poignant plot for a handful of hilarious jokes. It's also worth noting that as far as Tim and I remember, we don't recall them telling us that it was a basketball coach dying until at least halfway through the flick, and we had assumed it was football. No, hilarity does not ensue.
A chance to get prematurely excited for, or angry with films.
This week: The American
Looks like a sleek existentialist James Bond from music photographer turned director (Control) Anton Corbijn. If it bears any resemblance to Control it should be meditative in pace, and look bloody beautiful. Some of the shots look a little car commercial-y (0:19 - 0:23), but others look simply fantastic (1:22). Due to be released September 1st.
Cyrus
I have yet to see anything from the Duplass brothers, but they have a reputation for making quirky Sundance style films. This one looks like it might have the right blend of dramedy to bring out the best of John C. Reily, who to this point has not quite hit his stride as a leading man. A great cast otherwise, I'm curious to see what Johna Hill has to bring to the table in something that is not straight comedy
The Expendables
I still can't believe this movie is real. Remember everything you wished movies were when you were nine years old? This is it (for me at least). Just look at the cast. Sylvester Stallone (also wrote and directs), Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Mickey Rourke with Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger! Or said easier; every living movie tough guy supplemented by the WWE and the UFC. Do you know what testosterone smells like? You will when you leave a theatre showing The Expendables.
The Last Airbender
Notice how they dropped the "Avatar" from the title? Probably a good call. Second question; did you notice how listening to his kids is destroying M. Night Shyamalan's career? He should probably stop being such a good father all the time, and indulging his children's fantasies, because the rest of us don't care. But as all of his films to this point have said (including this trailer) "there are reasons each of us are born, we have to find those reasons", and Shyamalan's reason was to be a super-dad. So aside from being bored at having that message shoved down my throat at every Shyamalan movie, I'm probably being to hard on this one. I'm sure it will be a blast for the target audience: Shyamalan's kids.
There are a million reasons to go to the movies. The most common reason thrown about is the need for entertainment, which most of the time amounts to little more than a diversion, something that fills two hours and is forgotten. What Pixar movies usually have to offer is something more human than entertainment, they attempt to offer pure enjoyment. Obviously entertainment is a factor, but they somehow manage to incorporate perfectly played sentimental notes at the exact right moments, fresh and challenging ideas that are broad enough for children but interesting for all. There are also always elements of danger, not Disney danger, but an honest subtle danger. Toy Story 3 is, of course, no exception. It begins with the remains of Andy's toys from the first two films speaking about how their numbers have been thinned out over the years (taking a minute of remembrance for the loss of Bo Peep), and devising elaborate schemes to get Andy to play with them again. Andy has grown up (his character has aged in real time), and has to make a decision about what to do with these last remnants of his childhood before he goes off to university. Through a series of misunderstandings the toys are donated to a local daycare where nothing is as it seems, and only Woody holds out enough faith in Andy to attempt to get the gang back to him before he leaves.
This outline opens the movie up for countless moments of tugging on our heart strings, and of course it uses every one of them. Somehow though, they all seem to work in a genuine unforced manner. There is a scene of Andy and his mother alone in his room after his things have been packed, and his mother begins to cry because her boy has grown and is leaving home. Andy doesn't seem to realize what it means to her because he is still a child in many ways. The toys are going through the same set of emotions, they feel as thought they are being abandoned and they have to learn to understand that it is just time to move on. Having just written those words, I can't believe that the scene comes of as effortlessly as it does because it sounds so hackneyed. By all rights this movie has no place being as effective as it actually is. Therein lays the ever present trap for Pixar movies to fall into; losing your audience through incredulity. It happened with Cars, and it will certainly happen again, as it has to when you walk the thin line between an instantly relatable flight of fancy, and well, Cars. I am actually kind of excited for Cars II, so they can get their bad movie cycle over with.
The look of the movie presents a beautiful updating of the character and environment models from the first film (I haven't seen the second), maintaining the look and feel, while streamlining it to suit our eyes now accustomed to computer generated worlds. Also the design of the characters, and especially the daycare was very fun, incorporating toy designs that anyone of my generation would be able to place instantly. Many effective sight gags surround a Masters of the Universe style action figure, a Ken doll, and an old timer subversive in the form of a haggard, and world weary Fisher Price telephone.
Bottom Line: See this movie. It really does have something to please everyone, and not in a Heartland Truly Moving Picture Award* kind of way, in a "you should like this if you have human feelings" kind of way. This is a film that finds universally relatable material in surprising places, even though (and maybe because) it is in constant danger of being horribly cliched. It is amazingly fresh for the third film in a series, and shows us new things about these characters and their world. As always, another great thing about Pixar films in general, is that they are children's films that treat their audiences (of any age) with respect.
*Toy Story 3 has actually won a Heartland Truly Moving Picture award, but my point still stands (I guess).
You know when people take potato chips and put them on their dinner plate in lieu of a more reasonable side dish? Always seemed weird to me, just taking junk food and treating it as if it were real food. Whenever this happens, the person serving it always acts like it's the most reasonable thing in the world to do. That is kind of how I feel about the Friday the 13th series. They should be a guilty pleasure, consumed in secret and shame, but somehow I have found myself in a position in which I am more likely to have a serious conversation about these films than Citizen Kane, for instance*. Eating them like real food if you will (please say you will, because I'm pretty far out on this limb right now). Each film is pure formula, and one that is shared with all slasher films which I`m sure does not need explaining. However there is one part of the formula which is uniquely Friday the 13th; the unmasking. The best movies in the series are basically build up to this point, with only a few exceptions.
Friday the 13th: Does not have an unmasking because... well I'm not going to ruin the secret.
Friday the 13th Part II: My personal favourite of the series. Less zombie-boss, and more mutant mountain man. Cool.Friday the 13th Part 3(D): The funniest reveal of the series, in which the female lead hangs Jason, thinks he's dead (he's never dead) and then he removes his mask to camera for no real reason. Still pretty cool.Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter: Tom Savini did this one, looks a little rubber mask-y, but makes up in machete-to-the-skull what it lacks in skin texture. Jason starts to look a little zombie like in this one.Brutal. Friday the 13th Part V - A New Beginning: Basically the same deal as Part I, just way less interesting. Funnier though.
Friday the 13th Part VI - Jason Lives: The campiest in the series (really saying something!). Throws a wrench in the whole Jason-face-reveal-scheme by having it at the begining of the movie (daring). This is also the first movie in which Jason goes full zombie.
Before his corpse is struck by lightning.After his corpse is struck by lightning.
Friday the 13th Part VII - The New Blood - Jason going beyond zombie into cartoon zombie territory. Friday the 13th Part VIII - Jason Takes Manhattan: In this de-masking jason has `toxic waste` thrown in his face and is in so much pain (because he feels pain at the end of every movie) he has to take his mask off to reveal his melting face. I feel like the melting face may have been a last minute write-in to explain how bad this looks.
Then things stop making sense. Jason is thwarted by rushing sewer water (because they are in Manhattan) and starts vomiting profusely just before it reaches him.
Then things really stop making sense. The rushing sewer water somehow prompts Jason to have a flashback to his childhood drowning in Crystal Lake, and when the water subsides he has turned back into a small child (because they are in Manhattan one assumes). Seriously. Best part: the two lead teenagers who narrowly escaped his grasp just look mildly relieved and walk away.
*I swear I didn`t just compare Citizen Kane to the Friday the 13th series.
If you shop for movies regularly in old school brick and mortar stores (you may notice this online as well, but it's not as easy to see) you start to notice a trend: many movies have strikingly similar movie cases despite the movies having nothing to do with each other. It's obvious why this happens, people see a movie making money, and they want to ride that train of success.
Steven Seagal is no stranger to low blows (literally and figuratively). He is famous because he makes moderately low budget action movies where he runs around snapping necks left and right until the entire world has died at his hands – all over the course of an hour and a half of run-time. I haven't seen TheKeeper, but I figure it's safe to assume that it's more of the same. Meanwhile, we have a respectable actor like Liam Neeson making an attempt at a balls-out action flick like Taken, with a DVD cover that sums up nicely what's going on: Liam Neeson has a gun, and he wants to kill someone.
Shockingly enough (Ha ha! *sigh*), Seagal's producers decided that this was their turf and they can do whatever they want, so they copied and pasted Taken's cover and replaced Neeson with Seagal, resulting in this:
This is one of my favorite shots of all time, not only because it expresses to the viewer Indy's larger-than-life persona visually, but because it depicts the hero as a shadow, something typically reserved for a stalking villain.
This is a shot that works better when you see it in context of the picture, but essentially it starts as a wide shot of Indy and an unnamed assailant engaging in fisticuffs before Indy runs toward the camera, creating a very dynamic reaction scene.
This entire scene displays Indiana in a dark place both figuratively and literally through the use of the shadowed profile view.
Beautiful red sun showcases a group of silhouetted people against the horizon. Does a fantastic job of illustrating the desert's heat and gives you a sense of exhaustion.
Indy coming face to face with his greatest fear. Nuff said.
These scene actually extends about 20 seconds, all the while we can see Indy and his team digging away to get the Ark, but it is at this moment that his rivals notice them.
Indy at a low point looking up, this angle shows a lot of hopefulness in it and you still feel connected to what's going on, as opposed to...
This one, which makes you feel totally detached from what's going on at the surface, and gives you a feeling of hopelessness. I love how he's just poking over the edge, barely in view.
This seems like just another standard truck cab shot, until you see it in context. Off camera Indy has just knocked a motorcycle off the road, we see none of the bump he gives the rider, but we see his reaction.True example of' "less is more"
Like the previous pick, showing less resulted in more of an impact. Seconds ago, hanging off the front of the truck (driven by Indy, naturally) now getting smashed beneath it's wheels. How do you show a man get run over by a truck without his guts exploding everywhere? Easy, says Spielberg, just make his arms and legs flail up in the air like a cartoon character.
First seeing Kenneth Anger's 1949 film Puce Moment was a lulling, bewildering experience. Even after countless viewings, and fairly intense internet research, it remains as mysterious as it initially seemed. The combination of its Golden era Hollywood setting, avant garde presentation, and lo-fi folk rock music make it feel like it exists entirely out of time. Anger, who is known to re-edit, and re-imagine his films endlessly, changed the music from a Verdi piece to these Johnathan Halper songs sometime in the late sixties or early seventies. The two songs are simply amazing, and immediately prompted me to seek out more from Halper. However they are the only known recordings (let alone proof of existence) from him. The film itself was originally intended to be part of a longer piece titled Puce women, which would never come to be. This is the case with Many of Anger's films, similar stories surround the making of Kustom Kar Kommandos, and Invocation of my Demon Brother. Whatever the origin, it shows an early Kenneth Anger indulging his fascination with the decadence of Hollywood that would ultimately culminate in Hollywood Babylon, and remains simply a strange and beautiful film.
I hope you enjoy the video, but for a proper version look for the DVD Films of Kenneth Anger Vol. 1 from Fantoma.
